Please Do Not Wish Me a Happy Mother’s Day.
“A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” -Anna Jarvis, founder of Mother’s Day.
The first time I read that quote, I actually laughed out loud. Not because it was wrong… but because it explained SO much.
And just so we’re all clear before anybody clutches their pearls or comes for me in the comments — I didn’t say it. Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day, said it. I’m merely sharing historical facts.
I stumbled across this quote about 10 years ago. I honestly can’t remember exactly how I found it, but I definitely remember WHY I found it. And ever since, every Mother’s Day aisle has felt a little less sentimental and a little more like a seasonal guilt section with flowers. So please, don’t wish me a Happy Mother’s Day……here’s my story.
Disclaimer: This post is intended to be light-hearted, a bit humorous, but real. I love my mama and the women in my life very much.
Also, if you could make it to the end before deciding I’m terrible, I’d appreciate it.
How It Began….
My disdain for Mother’s Day started not long after I became a mother myself.
Before kids, Mother’s Day was simple. You got dressed for church, went out to eat afterward, gave your mama a card and a thank you, and everybody went home happy.
Then I had children.
And suddenly I realized Mother’s Day lunch is mostly overcrowded restaurants, hour-long waits, and tired toddlers melting down right around the time you finally get seated. Because apparently every family in America has the exact same post-church lunch plan.
So in what I thought was a brilliant act of problem-solving, I decided we’d just start having Mother’s Day gatherings at my house instead. You know… to make things easier.
And that, my friends, is how I accidentally became the hostess, planner, cook, cleaner, grocery shopper, and event coordinator for Mother’s Day…
for the next TWENTY YEARS.….
(except for that one year when I decided we were leaving town and going to the zoo just to avoid the whole production).
If you’re anything like me, when the mothers come over, everything has to be perfect. Not because either one of them is judgmental. They really aren’t.
But my mother is the cleanest person I know, and deep down, I know she can see every spot I missed. And naturally, I want my mother-in-law to feel confident in the woman her son married, so there’s a little self-inflicted pressure there too.
So every year, the “easy” Mother’s Day gathering somehow turned into meal planning, grocery shopping, gift buying, cleaning, more cleaning, food prep, hosting, dishes, leftovers, and cleaning again when it’s over.
Mother’s Day is, in all reality, a double shift.
And that’s usually when I really start getting irritated — right when it’s almost over.
Everyone’s been served, things finally calm down a bit, and I’m thinking, okay good… now we can sit, eat dessert, and actually talk for a while. But that’s about the time my dad and father-in-law suddenly act like there’s a fire somewhere that only they could respond to.
“Sorry to eat and run, but it’s better than just running,” my dad would always say.
And now I get it — it’s not personal. It’s just an older-man thing… wanting to get home, sit in their favorite chair, and call it a day.
And just like that — everybody’s gone.
Except for me… and a counter full of dishes that somehow multiply while I’m not looking. Because as the hostess, I don’t let guests help clean up. Ever. That’s just how it is — it’s all-inclusive at my house.
Exhausted and miffed, I wonder what all this is for again. Ahhhhh, yes – Mother’s Day. The holiday where it apparently doesn’t matter if you just saw everyone two days ago or talked on the phone yesterday. It only counts if it falls on Sunday. And around here, they even cancel Sunday evening church services on Mother’s Day “so families can spend more time together.” If there’s any time I need a Sunday evening Bible study, it’s this evening.
A Brief, Slightly Uncomfortable History of Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day was created by Anna Jarvis, who intended it to be a quiet, personal recognition of mothers — not a commercialized industry. And she absolutely hated what it became.
As the holiday grew in popularity, it quickly turned into exactly what she did not want it to be: a money-making machine built around her idea of a personal tribute.
She spent much of her later life publicly opposing the commercialization of Mother’s Day, even using her own time and money to try to push it back toward its original intent. But the movement had already taken on a life of its own.
By the end of her life, she was living in a sanitarium and in financial hardship, largely after years of legal and personal battles tied to her efforts to fight the commercialization of the holiday she created. (More about Jarvis on Wiki)
And that’s how a personal idea became a national obligation.
Being a mom is hard work. And I’m grateful that, in my life, it doesn’t only get noticed once a year. My kids are good about saying thank you for meals, noticing when the house is clean, and appreciating the everyday things. So I’ve never really needed a special day to feel seen for what’s already part of my daily life. The real gift, the real privilege, is being a mother in the first place.
Instead, I’ve learned I’m much happier celebrating the things that actually feel fun. I love celebrating birthdays, and I genuinely enjoy the quirky little holidays I share each month on my blog. World Bee Day, Scavenger Hunt Day, Road Trip Day… now we’re talking. Heck, even National Paper Clip Day starts to feel worth acknowledging. It’s a lighter way to celebrate — less pressure, more enjoyment.
I don’t expect anything from my children on Mother’s Day. I do, however, recognize a couple of moms in my life who genuinely enjoy it — and you bet I’ll keep celebrating them as long as they’re around.
So if you’re a big Mother’s Day celebrator, live it up and enjoy your day! Just please don’t wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. I’ll be just fine over here sorting my jar of paper clips.
If you prefer fun, low-pressure celebrations too, check out my Holidays to Celebrate series! I post oodles of ideas at the first of each month, along with a free printable right on my homepage!
I never knew “the rest of the story”, as Paul Harvey used to say, of Mother’s Day. I have similar feelings as you about Mother’s Day. Good article!
I know, right? It truly is a sad story, and a shame that a nice sentiment got so out of hand….like most holidays.