Please Do Not Wish Me a Happy Mother’s Day.
“A printed card means nothing except that you are too lazy to write to the woman who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” -Anna Jarvis, founder of Mother’s Day.
I came across this information about 10 years ago. I don’t remember exactly how I found it, but I do remember why I found it……don’t shoot the messenger. And please, don’t wish me a happy Mother’s Day. Here’s my story.
Disclaimer: This post is intended to be light-hearted, a bit humorous, but real. I love my mama as well as my mother-in-law very much.
How It Began….
My disdain for Mother’s Day began not long after I became a mother myself. What used to be a simple meal after church changed after having kids. Wait times at a decent restaurant on Mother’s Day are loooooong, and usually people go out after church for lunch. By the time you are seated, it’s well after one o’clock. That’s nap time for most small children – or when they get cranky and need a nap. So, I had the bright idea to have Mother’s Day gatherings at my house….for the next twenty years. Except for that one year, I decided we’d leave town and head to the zoo just to avoid the whole thing.
If you’re anything like me, things must be perfect when the mothers come around. I mean, neither of them are the judgmental type, but my mom is the cleanest person I know – and I know she sees the spots I’ve missed. Naturally, I want my mother-in-law to be confident in the wife her son chose, so there’s a little self-induced pressure. And so begins the meal planning, grocery run, choosing gifts, cleaning, more cleaning, food prep, and the clean up after it’s over….
And that’s when I really get irritated – when it’s almost over. After everyone has been served, and some of the pressure is off me, I am ready to sit around the table and eat dessert and talk a bit. My dad and father-in-law always seemed like they had somewhere else to be. You would think there was a fire to tend to! “Sorry to eat and run, but it’s better than just running”, my dad would say. Now I understand it’s just an old man thing, just wanting to go home and sit in their favorite chair. One time I stayed in the kitchen until 2 a.m. making assorted mini cheesecakes – I don’t even remember if they had time to eat them.
Faster than you can say mother, everyone was gone. Except the counter full of dirty dishes. As the hostess, I don’t allow guests to help me clean up – ever. It’s all-inclusive at my house. Exhausted and miffed, I wonder what all this is for again. Ahhhhh, yes – Mother’s Day. It doesn’t matter if I just saw and shared a meal or a phone call with them a day or two before – IT MUST BE SUNDAY TO COUNT. Do you know they even cancel evening church services on Mother’s Day around here? They claim it’s to spend time enjoying your family. Yeah right. If there’s any time I need a Sunday evening Bible study, it’s this evening.
A Brief Horrible History of Mother’s Day
Whoop-de-doo, another Hallmark Holiday is over. And that’s exactly what it is. A holiday that primarily exists for commercial purposes. If anyone really knew anything about Mother’s Day, they’d opt out. Just like the founder of Mother’s Day did.
That’s right, Anna Jarvis spent her later years trying to reverse the holiday or end it. All she ever wanted by creating Mother’s Day was for it to be a very private acknowledgment of all the mother does for the family. By 1943, she had become so distraught over the fact that she couldn’t seem to stop the commercialization, she decided to get a petition together to rescind Mother’s Day. Ms. Jarvis was arrested, thrown out of meetings, and placed in the Marshall Square Sanitarium. She died there, alone and penniless from various legal battles she waged over the holiday she started. Poor Anna never made any profit from Mother’s Day, and she never had any children.
There is nothing special about Mother’s Day. Let’s call it what it really is, “Hey mama, you get to work your a** off again today!” Being a mom is hard work. I’m so glad that I’m appreciated and loved every day of the year. My kids almost always thank me for the meals I cook, they notice when I’ve just cleaned the house, and I don’t need a special day to receive special recognition for things I should be doing as a mother and wife anyway. The real gift is being a mother.
Instead, I go all out for birthdays, and celebrate the quirky holidays that I post each month here on my blog: World Bee Day, Scavenger Hunt Day, Road Trip Day – now we’re talking! Heck, even National Paper Clip Day is looking good.
For the record, I’m not mean, heartless, or insensitive, just because I don’t celebrate Mother’s Day for myself, nor do I expect anything from my children. I do however, recognize a couple of moms in my life who do enjoy Mother’s Day, and you betcha I will continue to as long as they are around. So, if you are a big Mother’s Day celebrator, live it up and enjoy your day, but please don’t wish me a happy Mother’s Day. I’m fine with sorting my jar of paper clips.
Would you would like to add confetti to your day, instead of more work? Check out my Holidays to Celebrate series. I post oodles of ideas at the first of each month, along with a free printable on my homepage!
I never knew “the rest of the story”, as Paul Harvey used to say, of Mother’s Day. I have similar feelings as you about Mother’s Day. Good article!
I know, right? It truly is a sad story, and a shame that a nice sentiment got so out of hand….like most holidays.