10 Ways A Homeschooling Mom Can Better Love Her Husband

Last month, my husband and I celebrated our 26th anniversary! That is a huge accomplishment in itself, especially when for over half of that time we’ve been a homeschooling family. I’m here to tell you, homeschooling adds a whole other dimension to a marriage. As a homeschooling mom, I’ve made some mistakes, but I’ve also done a lot of things right. Now that the homeschooling chapter of our lives is over, I can proudly say, “we made it”! Let me share 10 tips with you, homeschool mama, on how you can better love your husband!

First, Be Aware

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Be aware, moms and dads! Homeschooling can enrich a marriage, but can just as easily drive a wedge between you and your husband. Marriages are under constant attack, and none of us (even homeschool families) are immune to the ways Satan and society will try to destroy our marriages. Moms, we need to be mindful of our relationships with our spouses, and remember that our husbands were here before our children were….well, in many cases anyway.

Another thing to be aware of (especially us mamas) is something called the homeschool vortex. I came across this term in a book that I read several years ago. The author warns of being sucked into this vortex that is “all homeschool mom all the time”, where every day is all about “children, curriculum, and crock pots”. Well, I have traded my crock pot for an Instant Pot, but I know exactly what she’s talking about. Boy, do I know! Thoughts of homeschooling consume my mind, even now. You too may be in that vortex and not even realize it. Be forewarned, my friend, the vortex is a no-romance zone.

“Your success as a homeschool mom and as a family depends on two things: Your relationship with the Lord and with your husband.”

The Busy Homeschool Mom’s Guide to Romance – Heidi St. John

I fully believe God intended women to fill the role as “keepers at home”. Sometimes we are so busy being “keepers” and “teachers”, that our relationship with our spouse gets neglected, as well as our relationship with God. The very relationships that should come first are God and your husband (in that order, then the children). Keep those things our top priorities, not homeschooling. When our relationships with God and our husbands suffer, so will our homeschool.

Second, Revisit “That Girl”

My favorite part of the book was learning about “That Girl”. She’s described as free spirited, has high hopes, an open schedule, is a dreamer and a flirt, unknowing of the changes that will be coming to her body…. Ahhhh, I spent some time revisiting “that girl” in my own mind.

“That Girl” was head-over-heels crazy for a long-haired guy with a loud car. “That Girl” would look forward to going to Pizza Hut every Friday night. “That Girl” wrote love letters. “That Girl” flirted. “That Girl” dressed to impress. Of course, “That Girl” is now older and has gotten slightly frumpy over the years. She has children, homeschools, and takes care of the home. Daily life certainly changes things, but I know “That Girl” is still there. I also know she needs to come out more often!

10 Tips for Homeschooling Moms

I made a list of 10 tried and true tips that may be helpful to your marriage during your homeschooling journey. I don’t always do it perfectly, but I strive to put forth the effort. Most can be done in ten minutes or less!

1. Ten-minute tidy: Take just a few minutes to pick up toys, school books, and have things generally tidy before he gets home. Don’t forget to include the kids! You want your home to look welcoming, not like a war-zone.
2. Two-minute tidy: Take just a couple of minutes to run a brush through your hair, or put on some lipstick. Don’t look like you’ve been in a war-zone (although you may have). You want to be the prettiest thing he’s seen all day.
3. Smile and listen when he arrives home. The first 10 minutes home can make or break the evening. He is aware of what you deal with, so don’t rant the minute he comes in, rather take 10 minutes to listen. Ask about his day, keep quiet about yours. Men can usually say what they need in less time than that!
4. Wait on him. He’s been at work all day. Get the man some tea or ice cream!
5. Keep papers and school projects out of the bedroom. I know most of us “school” all over the house, but make that one area free of clutter, especially school clutter. It seems like the bedroom is the most neglected. Consider making it look more like a romantic retreat.
6. Flirt. It will make him happy and gross out the kids.
7. Make time to be alone. This is more challenging with older kids that no longer go to bed at 8 o’clock! However, having older kids allows you to go to dinner by yourselves without needing a sitter.
8. Appreciate what he does away from home, so you can do what you do in the home. I remember a conversation a homeschooling mom shared with me. She was telling her husband about the lousy day she and the kids had as soon as he came home. I also remember her husband’s reply – “at least you get to work with people you love all day”. To this day, I have not forgotten it.
9. Keep your eye on the finish line. Believe me, the years of homeschooling really do go by quickly, and it’s just going to be you and him again. Have fun thinking about your future together!
10. Respect him. Love him. Because the Bible tells us to.

Homeschool mamas, our jobs are not easy! Strive to be the woman God intends us to be. Grow in the Word, and see growth in your marriage. It will make your job as a homeschool mama so much easier, and enjoyable! Don’t forget that most importantly, we are setting the tone for the generation behind us. Get it right!